On Sunday in Utrecht, ACC 4 fielded a team that included fat asses, smart asses, cute asses and ugly asses. We had young asses and old asses but the one thing you could say about all these behinds filling the famous ACC trousers is they were all bad. Yes indeed, the long awaited sequel to the bad asses had finally arrived and was premiering in Utrecht. This new feature boasted not one but two leading ladies,

Denise and Angelique (whose stage name is now and forever Natalie) as well as a plethora of potential leading men. Mike Walsh played the ageing monarch pitting his kingdom's army against the evil Hercules. While the dashing young princes, played by Imran and Philip, were ready to fight to the death against the evil empire. The three mighty warriors were played by Nagesh, Richard Matchett and Bob Wolfe, while the mysterious stranger who had journeyed from the far away land of serious cricket, was played by Marvin Watts. The invincible sorcerer who could turn water into a leg-side boundary was played by Tim Lewis and the beast who could bowl with one hand and bat with the other was played by Bert or is it Ernie!
The film starts with the old king negotiating with the evil king of Hercules but to no avail and very soon the the king and all his army were ambushed in the field (a very small field!) and as battle commenced it was clear that the death toll would be very high. The king, the princesses, the princes, the warriors, the sorcerer and the mysterious ambidextrous beast all fought courageously in the field but the evil army of Hercules, which included a centurian, inflicted some very heavy losses. As night fell and the old king pondered the cost of the battle, he wondered whether his troops would be able to match or even better the 263 for 7 off 40 overs.
As the king walked amongst his army, they were enjoying some well earned respite, feasting on fresh pineapple. The old king was heartened by the spirit of the troops and they discussed using the same tactic they had worked so well for Hercules. The plan was laid and the ambush prepared, they were going to attack Hercules on the very same field that had seen so much blood spilled in the first innings. A run rate of over six an over was required if they were to be victorious and Bob the Warrior and Bert the Beast were first into the fray, however despite a valiant rearguard, the run rate kept rising and Bert was wounded mortally when Bob shouted out Yes when he mean't No. The old king sent Marvin, the mysterious stranger, into battle but first he armed him with some mighty balisters which sent the projectiles of the enemy to all four corners of the field. This caused panic in the armies of Hercules and they started to lose their nerve, as well as a couple of balls. Eventually, Marvin fell short of the enemy boundary and straight into their hands. Nagesh was similarly caught out on the boundary which brought Richard Matchett to join Bob Wolfe on the battle field. The proud old king surrounded by beautiful pricesses and handsome princes watched the battle from the safety of the scoring chamber. Bob and Richard hammered the enemy all over the field and eventually the run rate started to come down. With only 30 needed off the last 8 overs, Bob finally fell to the evil shout of `Howzat` and the ambidextrous beast who had earlier been run out by Bob lifted his finger in revenge. This brought the sorcerer Tim to weave his magic, pulling balls from wide outside the off-stump to the square leg boudary. The final shot of the battle was by Richard Matchett and as the six sailed over the square-leg boundary there was much rejoicing in the castle of the old king.

Hercules 3 - 263 for 7 off 40 overs
ACC4 - 264 for 4 off 36 overs